The same month Tonya Harding transformed Nancy Kerrigan's knee into a postmodern masterpiece, I was anointed as Astoria Middle School's Yuletide poet laureate. Evidently, some misguided soul believed I had a knack for stringing words together in a rhythm. My poetic creations festooned our classroom walls, as my teacher paraded me around like her prized literary show pony—bestowing upon me the holy task of churning out verses for the masses to gape at during our yearly Christmas open-house.
So here’s raising a toast to your Merry Yuletides! Revel in this journey down memory lane with poems that once held court in the sacred corridors of Astoria Middle School, three decades ago!
The poems are great and completely bizarre, though they don't deserve to be in the same mention with Tonya Harding's crowbar. Why didn't my kids have a teacher like you?
Cheers man.
I bet they thought twice about the Poet Laureate thing in the following year. No one could come up with this stuff! And the pictures are priceless!